Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
