Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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