Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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