she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
