She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
