So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
