i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
