I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
