I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i barfeds in our rink
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
