Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need a beard to bite.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
