you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
