Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
