What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Randomize
