I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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