You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
