But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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