Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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