I smell stomach acid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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