Will you blow on my dice?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
