OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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