gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize