well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
