is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
