hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
