just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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