If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
