Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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