This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
