Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My pussy is not your playground.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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