Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
