You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize