Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
