I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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