I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
