I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
