I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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