honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
