It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
