i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
