all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
