I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
