is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Houston, we have a blender
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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