threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
