I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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