She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize