im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
