You just made me feel so damn special
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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