Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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