There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize