My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
