It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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