k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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