He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize