He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
