Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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