This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
