I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
