Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
