I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
