Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
