I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize