So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm at about main and main street
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Randomize
