You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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