I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I believe in your delicious
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
