If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
