I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
