I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
