p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
