he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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